Except, we tend to think of that when there’s a death in our family. I know I do and then I again, I have been fortunate not to have any close deaths in my family for the past 25 years. I’m not familiar with that feeling of loss unless we are speaking of relationship loss and, well, we all know how I deal with that. If you don’t, help yourself to the beginning. Yet, grieving is not reserved only for those who have passed. Yesterday I learned that grieving is important for those small, emotional and physical things that we have lost.
My therapist, who is the most amazing person ever! Explained that we need to learn that it’s ok to mourn or grieve over the things that have hurt us in the past – Totally new concept to me- But it made sense. I’m not typically one to cry over anything from my past so, this is quite awkward. BUT, there have been a lot of experiences of my past that hurt me but that I was never able to cry or feel hurt about. Ultimately those feelings became suppressed inside…deep, deep inside. And now, they sit there wallowing in my internal pool of emotions.
I don’t mean to sound too Freudian with my explanation. I don’t even know that any of these revelations work. But it leads to something, which is better than nothing. It helps, at the minimum, to be aware. At its best, I hope I can grieve those sad and painful memories that hold me back. That I am sure won’t go away, instead they will have been resolved. The grieving cycle sucks! Especially when you are putting it upon yourself to dig up shit that happened SO long ago, cry over them or get mad all over again, and shelf them for life. You don’t necessarily need to cry there are other outlets, but I need to find one and use it.
So I came up with a plan, and if you have a better idea feel free to speak-up, that I would write down the memories that hurt me on a sticky note, and put them in a box or envelope or something. When I’m well and ready to begin my grieving, I will pick one note and allow myself to grieve.